


mr. loverman

by negativeoptimist



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Anxiety, Bokuaka - Freeform, Captain Akaashi, Depression, Everyone Is Gay, Faint, Fainting, Gay, Happy Ending, KuroKen - Freeform, Light Angst, M/M, Pro Volleyball Player Bokuto Koutarou, Volleyball, Volleyball Dorks in Love, collapse, college bokuto, falling, im gonna rewrite thus bc its shit, national/s, tsukkiyama - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-11
Updated: 2020-09-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:33:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26404276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/negativeoptimist/pseuds/negativeoptimist
Summary: akaashi keiji finally breaks infront of hundreds of people.orakaashi collapses during a game and bokuto’s never felt more nervous in his life.EDITED!
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 10
Kudos: 272





	mr. loverman

**Author's Note:**

> YAY! I edited it a bit so it's definitely more worth reading, i hope you enjoy! Leave a kudos, comment, and subscribe to my account for more! See you soon!

Shit. Fucking shit.

Akaashi was nervous, very nervous. They were at Nationals, for crying out loud. Hundreds of people staring at their game, at  _ their _ team that  _ he _ was captain of. 

All the pressure of being a senior, a captain, and a boyfriend is taking a toll on him. He’s sweating, fidgeting with his hands, his heartbeat beating louder than usual. He couldn’t seem to breathe. The setter knew that something was incredibly off a few days ago when he couldn’t seem to get out of bed, no matter how hard he tried, his loss of appetite, and his frequent headaches, but didn't think of doing anything about it. 

In the first match, he seemed completely fine (despite the faint ringing in his head and the increasing tightness in his chest). But Akaashi has no clue on why he was having an episode now, of all the other times.  _ Not now, anytime but now _ . He screams in his head. Bokuto,  _ his _ Bokuto was watching him play. And he can’t switch out now that it's too late. The loud honk of the horn has set and Onaga was going to serve.

The half-lidded boy took a deep breath, trying to calm himself, and tries getting himself in the game. 

At least he tried. 

Meanwhile, his owl-looking boyfriend stares at Akaashi's slim figure. He was seated with Kuroo Tetsurou, former Nekoma captain, near the other volleyball teams (because Kuroo wanted to see Kenma, of course). He automatically cleared his schedule to be the supportive boyfriend the  _ minute _ Akaashi told him they made it Nationals. He was so excited, contrasting to his current (unusually) quiet state with a harsh gut feeling he was having now. 

“Is Akaashi-san alright? He seems a bit off.” he heard. It was from Kenma, who was also watching the match despite Kuroo’s clingy attitude, desperate for his attention. It was weird for Kenma to be asking this because most of the time he doesn't care. “Huh? Oh,” Kuroo acknowledges, a frown forming upon his face as he realized something indeed was kind of strange. “Maybe he’s just nervous? He is captain, after all. Right, Bo?” Kuroo looks at the college boy next to him. “Mm,” Bokuto replies, but somehow he wasn’t too convinced with himself.

Five points in, the game is going as it should be. Bokuto ignored the weird feeling he had and started cheering loudly with his old school and basically is himself. “Hey Hey Hey!!!” He exclaims loudly as they scored another point. He got a few stares from the people around him, but he didn’t care. He wanted to make sure Akaashi could hear him from miles away.

His gaze is fixated on the game until he notices a familiar tall blond asshole entering the same box as him from the corner of his eye.

”Tsukki!” he shouts, making the poor second year freeze. Bokuto gasps, “Yamaguchi!” as he notices the slightly shorter brunet beside Tsukishima, who gladly waves back. “Hey, Bokuto-san!” He greets. The middle blocker groans, knowing that his boyfriend will drag him to the Ace and force him to talk.

“How are you, Bokuto-san?” Yamaguchi asks, engaging in conversation. “I’m doing great, Yams. Any new dinosaurs, Tsukki?” He asks innocently, wanting to irritate the blond. “Don’t try me you f-“ “Tsukki!” Yamaguchi scolds, sending the college boy an apologetic smile. “Sorry, he’s a bit snappy today.” He reasons. “It’s okay, we both know how he can be.” Bokuto laughs loudly, the blocker's glare deepening even more.

The three catch up, with the cat-eye couple joining them eventually. Talking about their lives, and commenting on the game. 

It all seems fine as they see Fukurodani players, so focused on the game. Receiving, serving, spiking, everything in their full capacity. “B- Soshi-san!” He hears Akaashi yell to their middle blocker. Everyone in the stands ignores the way he almost said the ace's name. Akaashi sounded tired, like the other members of his team, but something about it sounded more forced and drained.

”Something is wrong with Akaashi-san.” Tsukishima remarks, just like Kenma did earlier. Despite the current Fukuroudani's captain’s lanky figure, he did have a lot of stamina, his sight precise, and his focus on the ball at all times, tossing it like a pro. So why did Akaashi look pale, with the deep bags under his eyes? Why wasn’t his tosses as strong? 

“I don’t know.” Bokuto answers truthfully. He wanted to yell at them o take Akaashi off the court, but they both know that would be the last thing Akaashi would have wanted. And he couldn’t do anything. He wasn’t Fukurodani’s Ace anymore. He was a graduate, a normal guy watching a volleyball game. Nothing less, nothing more. 

\-----

Akaashi is starting to lose it.

He hasn’t been keeping track of their points, and he wasn’t analyzing as quickly as he usually does. Sure, they were a few points ahead, but those are all because of missed serves and outs. This was really bad. He notices his teammates have started to worry as well. He swallows the lump in his throat. He can already feel his legs giving up on him, they’re as heavy as bricks. “One touch! He hears from Anahori. The ball was coming his way, he sees it as clear as day. Akaashi backs up and bends his knees, receiving the ball as swiftly as he could. 

“Fuck!” He curses as the force of the action makes him lose his balance, making him fall to the floor. He sees Coach Yajimi and his cold expression, he couldn’t stand seeing one of his best players in such a weak state any longer. Coach started to stand up for a time-out, before saying Akaashi says a firm “No. I can do it.” and is weakly helped up by his other teammates.

“Captain,” a first-year called. Akaashi looks at him.

“Are you sure you’re alright?” he asks concerningly. “Yes, thank you,” he assures him, trying to sound as cool and confident as possible. He turns to his right, making contact with those piercing gold eyes that seemed to shine from the rest. Sending him a soft reassuring smile. But by the looks of it, Bokuto doesn’t buy it at all. He isn't stupid, Akaashi wasn't the only one studying the other.

Breathing deeply, they rotate once more, Akaashi in front again.  _ Pull through. Pull through. Pull through. _ He can’t breathe properly anymore, every step he takes, he wobbles and stumbles like a lost puppy in court. But he puts it all behind as he sees the ball enter his side of the net, their libero receiving it with ease. “I got it!” he hears the second year yell before receiving it once more, going Akaashi’s direction. 

Everything moves more slowly, in Akaashi’s eyes.

As the ball lands in his hands, he squints, targetting his toss as sharp as possible. “Onaga-san!” Akaashi yells, as he pushes his legs up and throws the ball, his vision getting blurrier by the second, and the ringing in his ear getting louder and louder. All that was heard after the spike was a loud thud. The entire sub arena was silenced, no one seemed to be able to make a sound. 

Akaashi Keiji had collapsed.

\-----

”AKAASHI!” Bokuto’s voice echoes urgently in the sub arena right from his seat. Kuroo had to pull him back from jumping down there. “Oh shit.” Kenma watches, his eyes widening. Yamaguchi and Tsukishima in the same state of shock. “Bokuto come on!” Kuroo pulls him by his jacket and pushes past the doors, making their way down as fast as possible. Bokuto couldn’t seem to think but somehow, his legs kept going at an unbelievable speed. He pants loudly, frantically finding the large doors that enter the main court, the bedhead hair man following suit. Kuroo didn’t have to be there, but he was anyway. God knows what Bokuto was going to do, so he had to make sure that he didn’t do anything stupid.

“Boku-“ before Kuroo could even finish, the silver-haired man ran inside to Akaashi’s side. The entire court fills with whispers and murmurs. 

“Who’s that?” one whispered. “that’s Bokuto Koutarou! He’s one of the top five Aces in Japan.” the other gasped, “what’s he doing here? didn’t he graduate?” 

“Yeah. but he’s dating their captain, or, what used to be, his setter.”

\----

The first thing Keiji notices when he slowly gains consciousness is that he was being carried and whoever was carrying him was running. He could hear pants and squeaking of rubber shoes echoing in the halls. What was happening? He looks up- his eyes slightly dazed as he tried adjusting to the lights of the bright ceiling. “Kou?” he sees his eyes look at him filled with worry. “Hang in there, baby,” he responds, his voice still muffled in Akaashi’s ears. He nods, but his body says otherwise, knocking out again.

”holy shit, holy shit” Bokuto says all the way to the clinic. By the time he enters, he carefully places him on the bed, as instructed. From there on, he was told to sit in a chair and waits. He starts fidgeting with his hands- which is very unusual considering it's mostly a habit of his boyfriend’s. He watches as they do whatever doctors do, trying to figure out the cause.

”You’re the manager?” The doctor asks the brunette who was running slightly behind Bokuto earlier. She nods.

”Yes. He was fine last week, but I think things started to change around two days ago. We rarely see him eat with us unlike usual, and according to the other third years, he seemed to be more tired and drained.” she explains. Bokuto was relieved Akaashi had people around him even after he left. He knew it was hard for him to adjust to new things. 

“Is he on any medication?”

Instead of the ‘no’, he was expecting, “Yes.” was responded instead. “Zoloft, or something. I’m not so sure. All I know is it’s an antidepressant.

Come again?

Oh shit. 

Guilt starts taking over his body, thinking he’s been a bad boyfriend. Why hasn’t he noticed? He should have known why Akaashi had his days, but he was too busy. He always makes sure Bokuto’s okay, but he’s never asked Akaashi. “Oh my God.” He wants to go emo mode. He can’t handle it. Why did Akaashi even say yes to his confession? was he just doing it to make him happy? Thoughts rush through his mind so fast like a stampede in his brain. He’s overthinking it in his head but right now he thinks these thoughts were “rational”. For a minute there the silver-haired boy was about to go emo until he hears a soft groan from his boyfriend.

”Akaashi!” Bokuto breathes in relief.

“Where am I? What happened to the game-“ Akaashi is suddenly frantic as everything started to reoccur in his brain, shooting up from the bed, before Bokuto places a hand on his shoulder, sending chills through his spine at the sudden warmth and touch. “They’re fine, Akaashi-san,” Akari responds. Akaashi is still very much in doubt, and also very embarrassed for the fact that hundreds of people saw him faint. “They’ll be okay, Keiji. Give yourself a break” Bokuto says softly, contrasting from his loud and energetic personality. With the look he gave him, Akaashi couldn’t say no.

“Fine.”

”Mr. Akaashi. You just collapsed from what we think is exhaustion, overwork.” the doctor says as if he didn't already know that. “It says here you take antidepressants,” The boy shifts uncomfortably at Bokuto’s gaze, feeling guilty he’s never told him about his... conditions. “Have you been taking them recently?”

He could feel Koutarou at his side, and never in his life has he seen him so worried. 

“N-No.” He answers hesitantly, the doctor nods as if putting the pieces together.

”Ah, so your body started to withdraw. You do know that stopping your intake can cause headaches, insomnia, and anxiety. Which, I’m guessing, the game triggered it even more. As of now, you seem fine, but as a precaution, you won’t be able to participate for today and the following.”

That last sentence felt like a burn to his skin. “Two days?! No- I can’t- I have to play! I’m their captain!” He says desperately, tears in his eyes. He couldn't pretend he was okay, because he wasn't. This broke Bokuto’s heart. He never wanted to see his baby so sad, not like this. This was his last shot at Nationals, he couldn’t bear it. The doctor nods in understanding, but he knows there’s nothing he could do. “I’m sorry, but there really isn’t any other option. You’d be more at risk if so. It’s not worth it.” He reasons. Akaashi knew he was right and starts distracting himself by looking at his boyfriend’s hands, which were still fidgeting. He unconsciously started to do it too. 

After a few more reminders, Akari and the doctor left so they could give the two some space. After the door shut, it was silent. It was awkward. For the first time, Akaashi didn’t know what to say. he felt so embarrassed to be in such a vulnerable state in front of Bokuto. It was too overwhelming for him. He gasps for air, not realizing he had been crying. “I- I’m sorry.” Akaashi holds back a sob. “Why are you sorry?” Bokuto asks, intertwining his fingers with his. How he said it was so caring and full of love, it made Akaashi cry even more. Bokuto engulfed him in a big hug, framing his figure. He had to be there or Akaashi, just like how he was always there for him. “Because- Because I didn't tell you about... my problems.” He croaked, his face buried in his chest. “Everything was going great between us and if I let you know it might fuck things up.” He sniffs again, rubbing his eyes frustratingly. 

“Hey.” Bokuto smiles softly. “It’s okay. I completely understand why you didn’t tell me. And that’s okay. I will always devote my life to you, Keiji. You’re my world.” He cups his cheeks, a fond smile on his lips. His eyes filled with admiration. He admired how strong Akaashi was, how good of a leader he is, how caring, how smart he was. Despite his tear-stained face, Bokuto thought Akaashi still looked so beautiful. “I will always, always love you.”

“God damn it,” Akaashi says, his voice stuffy. “You’re such a romantic.” he chuckles, trying to lighten the mood. But it ended up sounding even sadder. “I love you too, Koutarou. Always.”

From there, he started to calm down. Throwing his usual witty comments every once in a while, and Akari bought food from the convenience store for Akaashi to make up for his lost appetite the past few days. He was hesitant at first, But Bokuto successfully made him eat. He started to talk about his college life, trying to distract Akaashi’s doubts on the on-going match of Fukurodani. But even so, Bokuto couldn’t help but feel so shitty. 

“Akaashi.” 

The raven-haired boy looked up at him, chewing on his rice. 

“I’m sorry too.”

Those three words have a thousand hidden meanings. And Akaashi knew that. His boyfriend was never good with words, but such a small statement from him is like an entire paragraph about his guilt. He places his chopsticks carefully on the bowl, swallowing his rice, before placing a deep kiss on Bokuto’s lips, a kiss filled with such love and compassion. This caught the ace by surprise, then started kissing back. 

Pulling away, his cheeks were a deep shade of pink. “Why did you stop taking them anyway?” He dared to ask. Akaashi looked down, looking at his food like it was the most amusing thing in the world. “I just... I thought I didn’t need them anymore. I thought it went away. But I guess I was wrong.” he admits sheepishly. “I just wanted to prove to you I was okay. I knew you started to worry about me, and I guess I thought I could live without them.“

”Aw come on, Akaashi.” Bokuto rolls his eyes. “You don’t have to keep your guard up all the time. I’m here for you too. Stop blaming yourself. Sure, this isn’t going to go away any time soon, but you got to understand that you’re human, okay?” He looks at Akaashi, intimidating him almost. “Plus, you don’t have anything to worry about. Because I’m here and I’m never gonna leave you, I am your rock.”

“No more secrets, okay?”

Akaashi nodded. “No more secrets. 

At that moment they knew everything was going to be okay. Akaashi was going to be okay, Bokuto was gonna be okay, Their game is gonna be okay because they had each other.

They were in love. So disgustingly adorably in love. 

**Author's Note:**

> UGH I WANT WHAT THEY HAVE WTF
> 
> 11-27-2020  
> HI! Our term break is near so I'm very excited to announce that I will be making this a collection! the name is nothing special, but it's going to include all sorts of adventures and events with your favorite volleyball players. Tell me in the comments if I should limit this to Bokuaka or if you want me to write other ships too! Also not that I'm very fond of writing Post-Timeskip/Post-Canon stuff so if that's your thing, AWESOME! 
> 
> see you soon!


End file.
